Why Do I Feel Disconnected from My Body?
A Guide for Highly Sensitive Women in Their Twenties
By: Patricia Ramirez, MHC-LP
You're on a crowded subway platform waiting for a delayed train. You're late for work. You scroll TikTok and within one minute, you see an ex's new relationship announcement, a meme that makes you laugh, a terrible news update, and a cute cat video. Your train finally arrives and the doors open as you rush into the car with the crowd. If you stopped and asked yourself, "What am I feeling in my body?" would you know? If you’ve ever questioned why you feel disconnected from your body, this is for you. It's a question I often hear from the women I work with both one on one and in groups.
To be a highly sensitive woman in your 20s living in New York City can feel like a blessing and a curse. I say this both as a therapist who works with this age group and as a highly sensitive woman in her 30s who has lived in NYC her whole life.
NYC offers incredible opportunity and access to endless experiences. But it's also a city that can keep you in your head or on autopilot, which keeps you checked out from your body as a way to protect yourself from constant noise and stimulation.
The disconnect you feel isn't a personal failure, it's a response your nervous system made to keep you safe. Reconnecting takes time.
What does it mean to be a highly sensitive person (HSP)?
To be a highly sensitive person (HSP), a term coined by psychologist Elaine Aron, means you are someone who has a relationship with the subtle things in life: You are deeply reflective with a capacity to make interesting connections to seemingly “unrelated” places, people, concepts, or situations. You’re naturally attuned to the emotions and moods of those around you, highly intuitive, and have an affinity for the beauty and art in life. You get overwhelmed, drained, and emotionally reactive more easily than most, even if you’re good at hiding it. Crowds, noise, or even small stressors that others barely notice can drain you.
What are the signs you’re disconnected from your body?
Disconnection usually shows up as living in your head, missing your body's signals, and second-guessing yourself. Which of the below signs have you noticed shows up for you?
It’s difficult to be present in the moment: your mind lives in the past and the future more than in the present. Worry of the uncertain future, overthinking, or overplanning are common.
You feel shut off from experiences of pleasure and desire: this can be related to both sexual and non-sexual experiences.
It’s difficult to name or feel your emotions: this can look like feeling numb, excessive detachment, feeling floaty or airy. This may also look like being able to access a limited range of emotions.
You ignore signs of pain or bodily needs: until you push yourself to the limit. For example, ignoring signals of hunger or tiredness.
You struggle with self-trust, decision making, or setting boundaries: part of having a relationship with your body means being attuned to the internal body-based signals of what a clear yes or no for you is. The body is a tool for intuitive knowing. For example, you say yes to going to an event that you are hesitant to attend because you think that’s what your friends expect of you.
Why is it harder for highly sensitive women in their 20s?
Most of us were never taught to listen to our bodies, and the city and culture around you make it harder. Being a woman in your 20s comes with several challenges based on the way women are taught or not taught to relate to the body from an early age. Here are a few reasons why you might feel disconnected from your body:
Lack of Modeling or Support: Unless you were exposed to people around you that modeled how to build a nurturing or attuned relationship with your body, it’s unlikely you were taught what it even means to listen to your body or relate to it beyond the basics of hygiene and grooming. For highly sensitive women, this matters even more. It's in an HSP woman's nature to feel deeply even if you sometimes wish you could turn off your sensitivity. When the world doesn't support that sensitivity, you learn to protect yourself by tuning out. Living in your head becomes safer than feeling everything. Group therapy is one way that women can gather and have a dedicated space to practice this modeling that most of us never got.
Hustle Culture: When you have to schedule an outing with your friends a month in advance because your to-do list and schedule are packed, the needs of your body become de-prioritized. When you live in a society that places immense value on productivity, this sets you up to be out of tune with your body’s natural cycles and rhythms since there can be a feeling of guilt when it comes to rest. Between work, school, dating, and friends, there’s often little to no space left to listen to what your body is telling you. When you start to internalize your worth as tied to your productivity levels, perfectionism can creep in, which causes you to shift your focus to meeting everyone else’s expectations instead of your own needs.
Social Media: Doomscrolling can be one of the sneakiest ways you stay checked out from your body because it can keep your nervous system in a stress response as you use it, even if you’re intentionally using it as a way to relax from the day. On top of that, fitness influencers, filtered photos, and celebrity culture can quietly reinforce the idea that your body is something to fix rather than something to feel, nurture, and relate to.
What does it mean to feel embodied?
Embodiment means tuning into your body's signals, which includes the sensations, emotions, and needs that it's constantly sending you, and making choices based on what feels self-honoring rather than what you think you “should” do.
In the realm of somatics (body-based therapy), embodiment is the practice of becoming attuned to your body and honoring what it's telling you. It's not about being perfect or always knowing what you feel. It's a lifestyle commitment to showing up for yourself daily, even in small ways.
How can you feel more connected to your body?
The key to building this relationship is slowing down enough to listen. Your body has wisdom. Building a relationship with your body is like any relationship since it takes patience, respect, and actually showing up.
Here are some practices you can try now or start to integrate into your daily life to increase your bodily connection. Pay attention to what feels like it might help and lean into that.
Safety Note: Go slowly and stop if anything feels too intense. If you find that you experience a persistent feeling of numbness, dissociation, or as if you’re watching yourself from outside of your body, consider reaching out to a therapist.
Breath Awareness: I know—therapists love breathing practices. But hear me out. The breath is one of the easiest ways to reconnect with your body because it's always with you. Here’s a practice you can try now or save for later: Place both hands on your lower belly and notice where you feel your breath moving. Is it fast or slow? Harsh or soft? Don't try to change it. Just notice for five breaths. You can do this in the morning, before bed, or anytime you feel disconnected from yourself. Your breath is your life force and paying attention is a reminder that you're alive and present.
Somatic Check-Ins: I love an intentional somatic check-in moment. This doesn't need to look fancy. If you have the space and capacity at the moment, pause for 10 seconds. Notice: Where are your feet touching the floor? Is your belly tight or relaxed? Are your shoulders tense? Don't try to change anything. Just notice. Just like the breathing awareness practice, you can do this at any time during your day. If you notice something uncomfortable, you don't have to sit with it. Just acknowledge it and come back to your feet on the floor. If nothing comes up, that’s okay too. Sometimes the body is quiet; you can always come back to this exercise another day. This is how we open every group session, so everyone arrives grounded in their body, not just their head.
Intuitive/Expressive Movement: This is my personal favorite. Put on some music that makes you want to move, maybe something that lights you up or emotionally moves you. Then just move. Your hips, your arms, your whole body. It doesn't have to look like anything and there's no right way. If you feel stuck, try letting one body part lead such as your hips or your hands, follow where it wants to go even for just a few minutes.
An Offering: Group Therapy for Highly Sensitive Women
in their 20s.
You've likely learned to wear masks to please others in the name of professionalism, beauty standards, gender norms, or "politeness." Having a space to drop these masks and just be real supports the journey back to yourself.
I'm offering a group for highly sensitive women in their 20s living in New York, Sensate in the City, to come together to reclaim their relationship to their bodies without shame or judgement. This will be an intimate group of six women, where we will open with a brief somatic flow to ease into the session. We will check in on what's weighing on your hearts, minds, and bodies to create space for open, honest dialogue.
The group will meet in person, online, or both. The in person group will be on Tuesdays from 6:30PM - 8PM in Midtown Manhattan and the online will be on Saturdays 11AM - 12:30PM with a start date towards the end of October 2026. Sliding scale options are available between $40 - $70.
If the idea of gathering in this type of group stirs something within you, I'd love to have you.
Finding a therapist who gets highly sensitive people in New York
If you've spent your whole life feeling like the world doesn't get you or being told you're "too sensitive," finding a NYC therapist who centers their practice on honoring sensitivity as a gift can feel both strange and relieving.
I'm Patricia Ramirez, MHC-LP, a mental health counselor practicing under a limited permit under the supervision of Jason Maas, LMHC. I’m an NYC native who works with healers, creatives, highly sensitive people (HSPs), and young adult women managing anxiety, depression, existential stress, and spiritual, relational, or sexual trauma. I’m currently accepting new clients for individual therapy via telehealth across New York and waitlist clients for a women's processing group designed for highly sensitive women in their 20s.
You can book a consultation call with me here https://www.shadowlightcenter.com/patricia
Further reading: Dr. Elaine Aron's work on high sensitivity at hsperson.com