For partners or family members who keep having the same arguments, who have grown cold or quiet with each other, or who are rebuilding after a rupture. We draw on the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy, use the lenses of Nonviolent Communication and Family Systems, and bring the body into the room through somatic work, with attention to what each of you inherited about love. Available in New York and Maine. All of our clinicians see couples in New York, and Jason Maas and Corinne Cappelletti also see couples in Maine.
Couples / Family Therapy
Couples therapy is a structured conversation, guided by a therapist, that helps two people see the pattern they are stuck in and change it together. The best time to start is before you think you need it. Most couples wait years after the trouble begins, and by then the pattern has hardened. If you are having the same fight on a loop, if one of you has gone quiet, or if something happened that you cannot get past on your own, that is enough reason to call.
You do not need to be in crisis. Some couples come for premarital counseling. Others come to prepare for a baby, a move, or a season of caregiving. Some come because the relationship is fine and they want it to be more than fine.
What is couples therapy, and when should we start?
How does somatic couples therapy work?
Somatic couples therapy pays attention to what each body does in the middle of an argument, not just what each person says. The fight you keep having is rarely about the dishes. It is about what happens in your nervous system when your partner's voice changes, and what happens in theirs when yours does. We slow those moments down. When one of you can notice the tightening before the sharp word comes out, the conversation gets a chance to go somewhere new.
We also look at what you each learned about love before you met. Every family teaches its children how to fight, how to make up, what gets said out loud, and what gets buried. Those lessons show up in your relationship whether you chose them or not. Naming them takes a lot of the blame out of the room.
What methods do you use?
We draw on the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy, two of the most researched approaches to couples work. From Gottman we take the practical skills: how to raise a complaint without an attack, how to repair after a blowup, how to keep contempt from setting in. From EFT we take the deeper map: the attachment needs underneath the fighting, and how to reach for each other instead of pushing away.
Nonviolent Communication gives us a shared language for needs and requests. Family Systems helps us see the roles each of you plays and where those roles came from. Somatic work ties it all together, because none of it sticks if it stays in your head.
Do you work with families, not just couples?
Yes. We work with parents and adult children, siblings, and other family members who want to change how they are with each other. The methods adapt. The goal is the same: fewer loops, more honesty, and a way of speaking to each other that you can keep using after the sessions end.
What does a session look like?
We begin with a separate intake session for each partner. It gives your therapist a chance to get to know each of you, build trust with you one on one, and hear your side before you sit down together. From there, sessions are an hour, with longer sessions available when a conversation needs more room. Each is a mix of conversation, structured exercises, and moments where we pause to notice what is happening in the body. You will leave most sessions with something to practice.
Where do you offer couples therapy?
Online throughout New York with any of our clinicians. In Maine, online or in person in Waldoboro, with Jason Maas or Corinne Cappelletti.
Have questions or ready to take the next step? We’re here to help.